People who are not careful with their words don’t realize the damage and hurt they cause. What’s sad, is some of them have done it for so long, they don’t think anything about it. They speak before thinking. Sure, there are times when a person like this will come to you and apologize, but when it becomes a pattern, you start to wonder if they really are sorry for the things they said. The truth is, after a while, an apology doesn’t mean much. I can’t think of a worse habit that an uncontrolled tongue and mouth that spits out negative and critical words. The relationships in your life should be more important to you than reacting on a feeling at the moment or worse than that, an assumption.
I think the worst excuse I’ve heard is when someone says, “This is just the way I am, and people will just have to get used to it.” I don’t know about you, but I don’t have the time or the patience to get comfortable with getting hurt. It’s important to use words that build each other up, not tear people down. Your family, friends and church community deserve to hear positive and encouraging words. None of us are perfect, and we all have bad days, but I’m not talking about a mistake, I’m talking about a constant disregard for other people’s feelings with what they say.
It’s great if you want to apologize to someone for something you said, but I think it would be even better if you asked the Lord to help you get control of your tongue and practiced daily on breaking the habit. Fill your mind with scriptures on this subject and purchase other material that deals with it too. Any bad habit that causes people to be hurt someone must be addressed and fixed. The uncontrolled tongue can cause as much damage as a person addicted to alcohol or drugs. You may think I sound extreme, but I believe it to be this damaging.
If you’ve been hurt or continuing to be hurt by someone, I am sorry you have to deal with this, and I know you have some big decisions to make if they do not change. You cannot continue to live your life in this kind of dangerous environment. You may want to have an honest conversation with that person and tell them how they are making you feel. Their response will let you know what you should do next. Last but not least, earnestly pray for that person because one by one, they are going to lose a lot of relationships in their lives. They may wake up one day, look around and wonder where everyone in their lives has gone.
Set a guard over my mouth, LORD; keep watch over the door of my lips.
Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
The soothing tongue is a tree of life, but a perverse tongue crushes the spirit.