I wrote a blog last week entitled, “SOMETHING WORTH FIGHTING FOR”. It was about marriage and family and how the only way it’s going to last is if we fight for what we have. I received a lot of response from that blog, so I decided to use the same title and continue to write some more things on this subject. Since last week I’ve heard stories of victory, but I’ve also heard the stories of defeat. Some are fighting, while others have decided to throw in the towel. Hopefully what I’m writing will help someone stand up and fight. Your marriage and family are worth fighting for.

When God created the first man and then made the woman for that man, He referred to her as Adam’s help meet. In other words, God gave that man talents and abilities to do many things, but he wouldn’t be able to do everything, so God gave him someone that would help him. It was important for them to know who they were individually, which in turn, would help them discover who they were together. Their united strength would come from their separate talents and abilities.

They were certainly opposite from each other, but that didn’t mean they looked at each other as opposition. God didn’t want them to be the same or look the same. The Creator designed them to be different. Their differences however, was not to make either one of them feel superior or more important than the other one. They were to recognize the contrast, but combine who they were to make one great marriage and family. That was the only way the two of them could become one.

As I council marriages and families, many times I find couples that see each others talents as competition. Instead of recognizing the importance of putting their abilities together, they choose to compete with one another for who is better at certain things. I’ve even seen husbands that were jealous of their wive’s talents as well as wives feeling the same way about their husbands. Instead of promoting and combining, they choose to compete and sometimes even intimidate each other with abilities. Each has be given specific gifts and also the potential of progressing and the enemy is using this to bring separation among so many marriages.

Your individual strengths are designed to make you better. It doesn’t make you less of a man or woman when you acknowledge that your spouse has certain talents that you do not have. In fact, I believe it will make you a much wiser man or woman. You cannot do everything and you’re not suppose to, the plan is for you to help each other become better together. However, you’ll never get there as long as you view one another as competition instead of completion.

Instead of me making a list of the different talents and gifts that men and women have, I want to issue a challenge. You spend some time writing down your spouse’s strengths and talents. What is it about them that makes them unique in what they do. Think of how you two are alike in many ways, but also how you are different in others. You see, I believe it is in the contrast where we discover incredible ability. You have to know who you are individually in order to develop an amazing combination. It’s important that you work on fusion, not confusion.

We weren’t made to compete with each other, we were made to complete each other. Our fight must be to work together, not fight every time we do work together. Know when it’s time for each one to take the lead. Recognize who should take care of the checkbook and who should make certain phone calls. Learn to compliment your differences. You’ll actually become better at what you do individually when you encourage one another’s talents. What God has joined together, don’t let competition pull apart.

Ok couples…let the fighting for your marriage begin!!!


  1. Incredible blog! An so relevant, I would venture to say it’s one of the most important lessons that can be taught. I’ll never forget being taught this lesson as a young man. Because someone taught me this, I was able to go into my Marriage with a healthy appreciation of my Spouse’s talents and abilities.

  2. Wow! Imagine if churches and families and workplaces and cities worked together as well! We do each bring something different to the table. Let’s help each other. Don’t compete, complain, alienate, disregard, exclude others who are different. God gives all talents!! Thanks for the word of wisdom. My husband and I are a team. We can send 10000 to flight! We can conquer sickness death bankruptcy church splits etc because we are together with Gods blessing and strength. God has blessed us with 22 years already. Can’t wait to see what the future brings with a united front in our family and world!

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