I woke up this morning with several thoughts racing through my mind. One of the things that kept coming to me was, there are some things in life that are worth fighting for. In fact, there are some things that will require a fight if you’re going to keep it. I can name a few, but I would like to focus on one very important subject that demands our attention and action. I’m talking about marriage and the fight to keep families together.
We have been told that love is a verb, which means it shows action. For a marriage to last, husbands and wives must fight to keep their marriage active. Too many times, in a marriage, couples get busy with making a living and fail to see that their marriage is struggling to survive. You may not feel like talking when you get home from work, but that’s when you have to fight for your marriage and talk anyway. Life will drain you and leave you exhausted, but that’s when the true warriors show up and fight for what matters most.
With our technology today, there is no reason you can’t be reminded to text something kind to one another throughout the day. Tell Siri this morning, “Siri, remind me at 1:00 to text me wife that I love her”. She will say, “Ok, I’ll remind you” and your wife will say, “Awe, I love you too”. Come on guys, how difficult is that? I’m talking about fighting for the most important relationship on earth, next to serving Jesus Christ. You’d be amazed at the small things that can make such a big difference in your marriage.
Fighting for our love also means we find what makes each other happy. One of my favorite books on marriage is “The 5 Love Languages” by Dr Gary Chapman. In this book, Dr Chapman explains that there are five major things that make all of us feel loved. We don’t all speak the same love language. It’s important that we learn each others language, so we can make each other feel loved. When a spouse doesn’t feel loved, after a while, it becomes very difficult to show love. When love becomes inactive and the relationship is treated more like a job, it doesn’t take long for things to start falling apart. I wish I had time to talk more about this, but just know it’s imperative that you love each other and also fight to make sure both of you feel loved.
You have to fight temptation. This is for men and women. I looked up some statistics this morning to find out who is more likely to cheat in a marriage. Is it men? Is it women? I found the results very interesting. It’s pretty well even, although in the past, it’s been mainly men. However, with women climbing the corporate ladder and being so successful, they are not as dependent on a man, so the numbers are more even now. This means both are going to have to fight against temptation, because you are equally a target.
You’re not fighting when your flirting with someone other than your spouse.
You’re not fighting when you’re visiting pornographic websites.
You’re not fighting when you’re responding to inappropriate texts.
You’re not fighting when you’re dressing immodest…intentionally.
You’re not fighting when you’re looking at the backside of the opposite sex as they walk by.
There are a lot more things I could say, but I think you understand what I’m talking about. It’s not easy and you are both going to be targeted by the enemy constantly. We live in a wicked world and things are getting worse daily. Adultery has now become something very common. The world looks at it as something that is just going to happen. I’ve even heard some people say that it was healthy for their marriage. Let me make this perfectly clear. An affair only happens when someone stops fighting for their marriage. Real men love their wives and fight with everything in them to stand and stay by their side. Strong women love their husbands and remain true to them and the vows they spoke to each other on their wedding day.
Don’t get me wrong, I know that mistakes happen and sometimes good people mess up. None of us are perfect, but I’m sure, the marriages that have survived these kind of setbacks will admit, someone was weak and gave in to temptation. If you’re reading this and your marriage has gone through a trying time, let me say this to you, “FORGIVE, FORGET AND FIGHT”. If you decide to stay together and work on your marriage, those three things are essential. It’s hard to fight for the future if your spouse keeps throwing up your past. You can’t move forward focusing on the mistakes of the past. I wish I had time to dwell more on this subject.
I don’t have time to cover them all, but one more way of fighting for your marriage is in self-evaluation. Have you looked at yourself to see if you need to make any improvements? We tend to play the blame game, but the truth is, fighting sometimes requires taking a good look at yourself. You might ask, how do I evaluate my self as a husband or wife? One of the ways you can do this is read more books on the subject of marriage. Since men and women are nothing alike, it’s important that we learn more about the sexy, strange creature we married and now are suppose to live with until the day we die.
As you learn more about your spouse, you may actually discover more about how you need to improve. I would suggest creating a check-list for yourself. Ask yourself the difficult questions. Are you meeting the needs of your spouse? If you’re going to fight for your marriage, are you willing to become a better husband or wife? What does she need that I’m not giving her right now? What is he wanting that I’ve not been providing? The list goes on and on, but I promise that self-evaluation and honesty will make a major difference in your marriage.
I’m not able to write everything that I want to say about this subject in one blog, but I’m going to come back to it from time to time. I just feel so strongly about making couples aware of how important it is for them to fight for their marriage. For starters, after you read this blog, schedule a date night with your spouse. Go somewhere nice and dress for the occasion. Guys, make sure you wow her like you did when you first got together. Ladies, you know we are pretty simple, so it won’t take much to make his mouth water. Enjoy the night and reschedule another date night asap.
Alright couples, let the fighting for your marriage begin!!!