If you’ve ever really been hurt by someone, it doesn’t matter if it was years ago or just a few days ago, I’m sure you haven’t forgotten it. The pain is even worse when it’s someone you were really close to. It’s hard to deal with when you’re not expecting it from a friend or a family member. You think to yourself, only an enemy should make you feel this way. There are so many emotions that you feel when something like this happens. You’re shocked, upset, confused and when it eventually comes back to anger, you feel an incredible amount of vengeance.
Like a smart lawyer, you begin to build a case against them. You look for anything you can use to get them back and prove your innocence. You go back almost everyday and re-live everything that happened. The problem is, each time you go back, your anger and hunger for revenge increases. Down deep you are extremely hurt, but after a while, the anger masks that hurt. You don’t know why this happened or the motive behind it. Honestly, it could be a list of many things such as, jealousy, envy, lust, resentment and politics. It’s sad, but things like this have ruined a lot of relationships.
You have a choice. You could do what Jesus said and forgive them, but it’s just so hard to let someone off the hook that easy. If you forgive them, that means you have to let it go and who wants to do that. They need to pay for what they’ve done and letting IT go means you have let THEM go and that’s just not fair. You’ve spent all of this time building your case and it doesn’t seem right to just throw all the evidence away that you’ve collected. Sure, you believe they’ll reap what they’ve sown, but you want your revenge to be what they reap.
I have a lot more I could write about on this, but I’m starting to remember some things from the past, so I’ll move on…lol.
I know what it’s like to be hurt by friends and family and treated in a way you didn’t deserve. You could chase down every rumor and confront all the people that have talked about you. With all the evidence you’ve collected and the things you’ve planned to say, you could really let them have it. You could tell them and everyone around, the kind of person they are, but the truth is…”IT’S NOT WORTH IT”.
The reason I say this is because, for you to get the revenge you think you deserve, you’ll become a different person when it’s all over. The anger will have turned to bitterness and the danger is you changing into what you’re fighting against. By the time you’ve gathered all of your evidence and replayed the past over and over again, you may have allowed what one person did to you, affect how you now treat others. It’s just not worth it. You can’t let the actions of someone else cause you to change into someone you’re not.
I am no expert on this issue, but I do have some personal experience and I will tell you this, what they did to hurt you will bother you, but the anger you can easily let in, will haunt you. You won’t know the difference in hurt and hate, because the hate was caused by the hurt. The line is blurred and you think you’re not sleeping because you’re hurt, when the truth is, you’re more obsessed with revenge and hate. I’m not saying that it’s easy to move beyond the pain, because I know that it’s hard to move when your mad. I’m only saying, if you remain in the pain, the person you’ll become is not the person you always were and, “IT’S NOT WORTH IT”.
Why let a group of people change you? Why let one person’s actions change you? God can replace whatever you’ve lost in a relationship. It’s not fair to let the wrong actions of people force you behind a set of walls that you’ve built and refuse to let anyone in. “IT’S NOT WORTH IT”. God may be trying to send someone to speak in your life, but they’re having a hard time finding you. Don’t get me wrong…I’ve learned to be cautious with what I’ve gone through, but I refuse to be closed off.
I am not going to let the ones that hurt me, make me hate them.
I am not going to allow the pain of the past become the way I live in the future.
I will not let the wrong actions of others cause me to become bitter.
I have too many things to do than to spend my time plotting my revenge strategy.
I pray today, that this blog will help someone that is currently going through this struggle. My hope is, that after reading this, you will decide to not let the hurt turn to hate. I encourage you to throw away all of the evidence that you’ve gathered and move beyond the pain. Last, but not least, I pray that you would get a glimpse of the person you’ll become if you continue down this road of revenge and stop and say, “IT’S NOT WORTH IT”!!!
So true!
Pastor Thank you for bringing up such an important topic! It is essential that we walk in forgiveness and pardon others debt so that we can walk in the fullness that God has for us!
/ A fantastic bsopgolt, I just passed this onto a colleague who was doing a little analysis on that. And he in fact purchased me breakfast because I found it for him. smile… So let me rephrase that: Thnx for the treat! But yeah Thanks for taking the time to talk about this, I feel strongly about it and love reading more on this topic. If possible, as you gain expertise, would you mind updating your blog with more details? It is extremely helpful for me. Two thumb up for this blog!