I don’t need your help…I can do this by myself. As harsh as that sounds, many of us are guilty. We may not verbalize it, but our actions seem to say it. There are several reasons why we do this and feel this way. Obviously I don’t have time to go into all of the details, but I would like to address a few things.
- Sometimes we feel insecure about ourselves and we think that asking for help exposes our inadequacies.
- There are some that are arrogant and don’t feel like they need anyone’s help.
- Many people know they need help, but they don’t want to be a burden to anyone.
- Some are simply afraid of rejection and embarrassment.
On the way to the office this morning I ask a few people two questions.
1. Do you have a hard time asking for help?
WOW!!! I couldn’t believe the response that I got. I was just going to write a simple blog about why we have a hard time asking for help, but I wasn’t expecting such in depth responses. I didn’t realize this was such a deep subject. It seems to affect people’s relationships with their friends, family, marriage and even God. Yes…God. One young lady told me she has a hard time asking God to do something for her because she feels unworthy. She said she would rather spend her time working for Him and try to earn His blessings. I had no idea that there were people who felt this way and struggled with this subject.
One young man said he has a hard time asking for help because he feels like if he needs help, he must not be doing something right and therefore he is a big disappointment. Another person said, I’m not really confident in myself and if I ask for help then that person will probably not have any confidence in me either.
So, why don’t you ask for help? When you are working on a project and you know you need help…why don’t you ask? Which category do you fit into? I kinda fit into that, I don’t want to be a burden to anyone category. I feel like people are extremely busy with their own things, so why would I bother them with mine? I’ll figure it out somehow.
Let’s face it…we all need help. There isn’t one of us that could do it all by ourselves. Whatever you do, the help of others will just make it better. About a year ago, I decided to do my own website where I could try to encourage people with my blogs, sermons and songs. I was so pleased this week to launch what I think is a great looking website with the exception of the goofy looking guy on the front of it. It’s been a year of hard work, research and planning, but we were able to finally make the move. There is no way I could have done everything that goes into it by myself such as Graphic design, coding, setup, themes, plug-ins, tags, photos, editing etc. And Yes…I had to have help. My awesome wife Alonna is such a great editor, my daughter Brittany is an amazing graphics artist and my son-in-law is so meticulous when it comes to set up and maintenance.
I have thanked them over and over for how hard they’ve worked to make this happen. I realize that I couldn’t have done it without them. Well…I could have done it, but it would have never been as nice as it is. Why settle for something second rate, just so I can say I did it? Why not ask for help and make it so much better. I’m totally alright with that. I told them that I felt bad asking them for their help, to which they responded, “We love being a part and it is no bother at all”. My daughter said, “Dad, you’ve allowed me to have a job because you need my help”. They are truly amazing!!!
Not to try and sound too spiritual, but some of the greatest men and women of the Bible had to ask for help.
- Abraham needed Sarah to fulfill the promise of God.
- Moses needed Aaron, because he wasn’t able to communicate like he wanted to.
- David had Jonathan as an amazing friend in such challenging times.
- Paul had people like Barnabas, Titus, and Timothy to help him establish churches for the Kingdom of God.
- The first thing Jesus did when He started His ministry was ask twelve men for help.
Don’t you think if Jesus needed help to complete His purpose that you and I need help too? You can’t do it all by yourself and you’re not suppose to. God has placed people in your life to help you fulfill what you’re suppose to do. Include them, talk to them, share with them where you need help. You’re not exposing a weakness, you’re making them a part of the process.
Whether it’s a friend, your spouse, your church staff or business staff, don’t be afraid to ask for help. Someone could be waiting on you to ask for help in an area where they would love to work in.
So, answer me once again; why don’t you ask for help?
If you’re not comfortable posting your response, I would love for you to email me @ firstname.lastname@example.org
I’d like to come back to this subject at a different time and maybe help others that may be struggling with this subject.